Senator Miriam’s Top PORK Jokes

1. Anong tawag ‘pag nagtapon ka ng basura sa dagat? Sagot: Pollution

Ano naman ang tawag kapag tinapon mo sa dagat ang mga pulitikong kurakot? Sagot: Solution.

2. Kapag nagsinungaling ka sa congressman o senador, kakasuhan ka na ng perjury, may jail term ka pa. Pero kapag ang congressman o senador nagsinungaling sa iyo, ginagawa na nila ang trabaho nila, magkakaroon pa sila ng bagong term.

3. How to tell if a politician is telling the truth:

Whenever he’s crossing his arms, he may be telling the truth.

Whenever he’s stoking his chin, he might be telling the truth.

Whenever he looks at you straight in the eyes, he might be telling the truth.

But when he opens his mouth, he is lying.

4. There was a study on the connection between government employees and the sport they play. Ang paborito raw sport ng entry-level government employees ay basketball. Kapag lower management position na, ang paborito raw nila ay bowling. Kapag upper management naman, paborito raw nila ay tennis. Ang paborito raw na sport ng high-level government officials is golf.

The study then made this conclusion, kapag tumataas ang posisyon mo sa gobyerno, lumiliit ang balls mo.

5. May 3 doktor, pinag-uusapan [nila] kung anong pasyente ang pinakamadaling operahan. Sabi ng isa: Electricians – everything inside them is color-coded.

Sabi ng pangalawang doctor: Librarians – everything inside them is in alphabetical order.

Sabi ng pangatlo, pulitiko ang pinakamadali: They have no brains. They have no guts. They have no hearts. And they have no balls.